confusion of the heart
by meow mew chan
Summary: Dark pasts cover the present with secrets of regret. Can the fine line between love and hate cure the pain of the past?


**Confusions of the heart**

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 **AN: hey guys so this is a new story of mine I was hoping that you guys would read and review it for me so that I know if I should keep this story going or go ahead and scrap it. thanks guys and I hope you enjoy it! :)**

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 **Chapter 1**

"Alois, will you just be quiet? And pay attention please!" Ciel turned his head from his jumpy, blonde friend; he was desperately trying to pay attention to the notes that were being given by the teacher. The notes detailed boring events that happened during World War II. It was not like Ciel really cared to take notes, but it was a much better option compared to talking to Alois.

"Oh, Ciel, come on just think about it. You know it will be fun, besides not many people get to go to a college party." Alois stared at Ciel with a hopeful look, his sky blue eyes pleading with Ciel to go, or to at the very least think about going. Alois knew the younger male would go if he begged long enough. He knew Ciel up and down; they've been best friends since they were young and in preschool.

Ciel really didn't want to go but Alois just kept asking. He couldn't just say no to him. It would make him feel bad. And even if he did, Alois would begin to pout and break into hysterical fits. "Fine, I'll go, but only for a little bit." Ciel sighed and turned his head back to the board to continue to write down the notes.

Alois beamed next to him, glad that his plan worked. If it hadn't he would have had to kidnap the younger male and force him to go. Parties sucked when you didn't have your best friend there to enjoy it with. But lucky for him he did. Alois settled down for the rest of the class period. He silently took notes until the hour ended.

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Ciel was walking down the halls of the high school, heading towards his house about a mile from the school. Ciel was dreading what would happen at the party that night. He wasn't a party person, if anything he was the type of person to stay home and relax.

He sometimes questioned his life and what he wanted from it. Normal people would look up to their parents for a little insight of the future, but Ciel didn't have that option. He lost his parents at the age of ten. Most kids would go through a rebellious stage and choose to act out. But instead he closed himself off from people. The only person he ever let in was Alois.

He was glad that Alois was in his life. It made it easier to deal with certain stresses in the world. The older male was annoying at times but he could never stay mad at him. It was part of the reason he was going to the party tonight. He would do anything for Alois and he knew that the older male would do anything for him.

Ciel continued to walk home and focus on everything that was in his head. Alois ran up to Ciel and wrapped his arms around his waist "Surprise!" Alois screamed, startling ciel for a moment.

Ciel's breath hitched, and he turned around to see a smirking Alois. He threw a glare at the older male before picking up the book that he had dropped. "Alois, why would you do that? You know I don't like it when you sneak up on me." Ciel wiped off invisible dirt and continued to walk down the sidewalk.

Alois continued to stare at Ciel as they walked; he was excited for the coming night. He knew that Ciel would fit in. He had everything going for him; he was smart, cute, and funny. Even if he did not believe it. He didn't understand why the younger male had such a low self-esteem. He was worth so much more than he knew. How could Alois make him see that?

Alois loved hanging out with the younger male; he made every day better. Whenever stuff happened in his life, the younger male would be there to help him. He hoped he never lost this kind of friendship, because it was just so perfect and very important.

Alois turned to face Ciel and started to walk backwards, so he could face the younger male while he talked to him. "Ciel do you want to come to my house and get ready, or do you want me to come to yours?" Alois kept walking as he waited for Ciel's reply.

"You idiot, turn the right way before you hurt yourself!" Ciel threw a glare at Alois before the older male finally turned around. "You can come to my house. I need to finish this homework before I get ready." Ciel stated as he turned down the street that lead to his house.

Alois looked at Ciel with disbelief. Was he really planning to do homework? Alois just couldn't figure this boy out sometimes. "Why are you doing your homework? It's Friday. You have all weekend." Alois asked as he and Ciel walked up the stairs leading to the house.

Ciel unlocked the door and began to walk to his room. Alois shut the door and followed Ciel up the stairs. Ciel sat his books down and sat down on his bed so he could relax.

Alois took off his shoes and walked over to the bed so he could relax as well. "I do the homework early so I have the rest of the weekend to myself. I hate doing things last minute, you know that."

Alois chose not to respond. He just sat there and watched the younger male get up and move to his desk. Alois relaxed more as he watched Ciel focus on the pieces of paper in front of him. Alois could see dedication swirling in those eyes; he could see the yearning for something more. He vaguely wondered if the younger male could see the passion in himself.

It would be ashamed if he didn't. That passion was one of the things that made Ciel so interesting; that and the innocence that came with him. Even though he acted older he was still a child, the façade didn't fool Alois. While he knew that Ciel was mature and smart, he also knew that Ciel was dying to break free of the shell he put himself in.

Ciel looked over to Alois, and chuckled when he noticed he was in a daze. Alois was always in his own world. Ciel wished he could do that. He envied that about Alois. The older male brought life to his world; he added color to his bland universe. Ciel was sure that if Alois ever left, the light would go with him. The older male had a certain flare to him that made him an interesting best friend, and Ciel was glad for that.

"What are you thinking about?" Ciel said with a small smile, noticing Alois' eyes became less dazed.

Alois focused on Ciel and gave a smile in return "I was just thinking what a great friend you are, and that we're going to have an amazing time tonight." Alois smiled again and grabbed Ciel's hand leading him over to his closet. He picked out an appropriate outfit to the party and handed it over to Ciel "Go get dressed. I'm going to run next door and get my stuff as well."

Ciel accepted the clothes and gave a small "thank you" before disappearing behind the bathroom door. Once the door was shut Ciel looked at the clothes in his hand, he shook his head and gave a smirk. Out of all the outfits Alois could have picked he chose the ones that looked tight on him. Ciel started to peeled the clothes from his body, and slip the new ones on.

Ciel finished getting dressed quickly and began to comb the tangles from his hair. He may not care what people think of him, but he still makes sure his appearance is in order. Ciel was running a list through his mind detailing all he had to do before the party; he stopped in his list when he realized he forgot to get permission to go. Ciel ran down the stairs to his grandfather's study. Once near the study, he slowed down and caught his breath. He lightly knocked on the door and patiently waited for the familiar voice to invite him in.

"Come in." Tanaka said while looking over the files on his desk. He didn't bother to turn around, he knew it was Ciel and he had a lot of work to finish.

"Hello, Grandfather. I was wondering if I could ask you a question." Ciel stood there with his head held high as he awaited acknowledgement.

Tanaka set his folder down and turned to face his grandson. "You may. Is there something on your mind?" Tanaka looked at Ciel, trying to pay attention to his attitude to see if this question was serious or not.

"I wanted to know if it was alright if I go to a party tonight with my friend Alois." Ciel held his breath, not sure if his grandfather would say yes or not.

"That's fine with me, Ciel. Be home by one, one thirty at the latest." Tanaka was glad that Ciel was getting out of the house. It was rare that Ciel ever went places, so for him to ask made it easier to say yes.

"Thank you." Ciel walked out of the study and walked back up the stairs to his room. When he reached his room Alois was lying in the bed waiting for him.

"Are you ready to go?" Alois asked as he sat up on the bed. "Claude will be here soon." Alois got off the bed and walked closer to Ciel. He fixed the stray strands of hair that fell in front of the pale face before pushing him towards the door.

"Who is Claude?" Ciel asked as he let Alois push him to the door. Ciel was now a little more nervous. He didn't like riding with people he didn't know. It put him on edge.

"I didn't tell you? Well, Claude is my current boyfriend. We've been together for the last three days." Alois said as he and Ciel walked down the stairs to the front door.

"Oh, well, I'm happy for you…. I can't wait to meet him." Ciel gave a smile, and turned away. They walked out of the front door, and sat down on the patio. They had small conversation before a black BMW pulled up.

Alois started to wave his hand down at the man in the car. Said man got out and began to come closer to the pair on the patio. The man had jet black hair, and piercing gold eyes that were almost spider like. The man was beautiful to say the least. Alois really did know how to pick them.

"Hey." Alois said to Claude as he leaned up and kissed the older male on the lips. "This is my best friend, Ciel Phantomhive," He said as he gestured to Ciel.

Claude looked over to Ciel and held his hand out to the younger male "Pleased to meet you. I'm Claude Faustus."

Ciel accepted the hand "Nice to meet you as well, and thank you for taking me with the two of you."

Claude chuckled and pushed the comment aside. "It's no trouble. I'm glad that you can make it." Ciel gave a soft smile before he turned away. The three of them began to walk to the car. It was about a fifteen minute drive to the college. Ciel just sat quietly in the back; he just listened to the couple talk about random things. He began to look out the window. Watching the scenery go by, he soon became lost in memories as his head tilted to rest on his arm.

Alois tapped on Ciels window, letting the younger male know that they arrived at the college. "What were you thinking about?" Alois asked when Ciel finally stepped out of the car.

Ciel wasn't really sure what to say. He wanted to tell the older male, but it seemed rather pointless considering it was about his parents. He didn't want to ruin Alois' night with his issues.

"Oh, it's nothing. I just spaced out for a little bit. I'm sorry." Ciel hoped that Alois bought that because he wasn't in the mood to explain it.

"Ok come on!" Alois dragged Ciel along making the younger male speed up so he could keep up with Alois.

"Will you slow down please?!" Ciel said as he wrenched his hand out of Alois' grip. Ciel started walking beside Alois wondering what part of the campus the party was in. Ciel knew the school really well; his grandfather teaches in the history part of the campus. He had to help with some paperwork and other less exciting forms of work.

"Sorry," Alois muttered as he let go of his best friend's hand. He was so excited to be at the party and wanted it to be a great experience for Ciel as well. Alois continued to follow Claude as Ciel trailed after him at a decent speed. "Claude where are we going the party is over there?" Alois asked, confusion written on his face.

Claude chuckled at his boyfriend's confused face. The younger male made the cutest faces without even meaning to. It was one of the things that drew Claude in. "I told you, I was meeting my friend and his girlfriend on the way there."

"Oh, yeah, I completely forgot! I can't wait to meet him he sounded like a cool enough guy." Alois said as he laced his fingers with Claude's.

Claude smiled and held to the hand tightly. "He is, although he can be quite the smart ass," Claude laughed.

Ciel just kept walking absent mindedly, not paying attention to the conversation that the other males were currently having. He was too busy planning things he had to do once the blasted party was over. Ciel suddenly came back to reality when he bumped into the back of his friend's back. "Sorry I wasn't paying attention" Ciel said as his blonde friend looked at him.

"It's okay, Ciel. We're just waiting for Claude's friend." Alois said simply.

"Alright, what's this guy like?" Ciel asked. He wasn't good at just starting conversations when he didn't know the person.

Alois smiled and looked down at Ciel "You'll see. He's right there." Ciel looked up and saw a man with dark hair, tall and slim but fit. He was handsome and Ciel couldn't help but stare into the rare red eyes. Perhaps they were contacts? Not that it mattered, but the man in question seemed almost perfect, physically anyway.

"Hey, Sebastian, this is my boyfriend Alois and his friend Ciel." Claude gestured to the two younger males. "Where's your girlfriend?" he inquired not really caring to know the answer.

"She went to the restroom. She should be out any moment, and it's nice to meet both of you."

"You as well" Alois said as he extended his hand out to Sebastian. Sebastian grasped the hand and gave it a firm shake in greeting.

"Yes it's nice to meet you too." Ciel said and gave a handshake of his own. Both surprised by the shock that followed. Ciel pulled his hand away quickly, flexing his hand to see what it was. The shock was different from any he had felt before; it traveled all the way through his body.

Sebastian looked down at his hand than to Ciel. The boy was cute, short with ashen blue hair and these pair of beautiful royal blue eyes. There was a spark, and suddenly Sebastian wanted to know more about this boy.

Before Sebastian could talk, his girlfriend came bouncing down the sidewalk. The girl had fiery red hair "Hey guys, sorry I'm late." Meyrene said as she latched on to Sebastian's arm.

Meyrene looked around when she saw a mop of blackish blue hair. "Ciel?" she had not seen the younger male in quite some time. Not really wanting to either, they did not really stay as the best of friends.

Ciel looked peeved, why of all the people that he could see, did it have to be her. In addition, why would Sebastian date someone like her? What does that say about his character? Maybe he did not know how awful this girl was; maybe he is another victim.

"Mey" Ciel said with little interest not really wanting to speak with her, nothing good ever came from it.

The group looked from Ciel to Meyrene wondering how they knew one another. Sebastian could see the peeved look on both of their faces and could tell that something bad had to of happened between the two, but what?

"What are you doing here?" Meyrene said in a sarcastic tone. She could not help but be harsh with him. She did not want to put up with him.

Ciel sighed and looked down for a moment "Can we not start this now, I have to use for an argument with you, and I know it's your thing, but for once can we try to have a pleasant evening."

"What do you mean by your thing?" She let go of Sebastian's arm and put her hands on her hips.

"Exactly what you are doing now." Ciel turned to Alois, who was looking at him with wide eyes. "Hey I'm going to go, enjoy your night and text me when you get home."

"What?" Alois stepped away from Claude and moved closer to Ciel. "No, please don't go. How would you get home anyway, Claude drove us." Alois tried to reason.

"I'm going to walk" Ciel looked at Alois as if the answer was obvious. Ciel did not understand why Alois looked so frantic. It was not as if this was the first time that he had walked home from the college.

"But it's dark!" Alois shrieked being his normal dramatic self. Ciel gave him a dumb look.

Ciel grabbed Alois' sleeve and pulled him over to the side. "Look I can't be here right now, I know that I told you I would stay, but I just can't handle her."

"Who is she?" Alois asked, Ciel was never overly bothered by one person, so this was new, and he was upset that this one person could get Ciel so worked up.

"I will tell you later, right now I'm just not in the right head space. Apologize to Claude and Sebastian for me, and tell them it was a pleasure to meet them. Call me when you get home so that I know you made it ok. And more importantly have a good night." Ciel said as he gave Alois a quick hug.

Alois hugged him back. "Ok I will, be safe and text me when you get home." Alois said.

"Will do" Ciel said as he turned around and started to walk in the direction of his house.

Alois sighed and walked back to the group. "Is everything ok?" Claude asked, as he put his hand on Alois' shoulder.

"Yeah, he just needs to be alone right now, I'll check on him later." Alois said.

"Oh who cares about him, let's just move on already." Meyrene said in a snarky tone.

"Ok, first you need to shut up, I already don't like you, and it would be in your best interest to close your mouth and move on with your night." Alois said, giving this girl a stern glare.

Meyrene gasped "Now listen here…" she started and put her hands on her hips. She could only handle so much, these brats were stressing her out more than she would like to admit.

Alois held up his hand and started to shake his head before stepping towards the girl. He moved closer and began to whisper in her ear. "oh honey, that line was so cliché, I won't start with 'now listen here' I will simply tell you that I am extremely protective of him and that I do not like you and if one more word comes out of your whorish mouth that I don't like I will be forced to find more creative ways of shutting you up, and I'm not the nicest of people." He moved over a foot and looked at her ashen face "remember that and all is good."

He turned around with a big smile and walked back over to Claude's side grabbing his arm. Feeling quite accomplished for having defended his friend, he was ready to have some fun. Claude looked down at him with inquisitive eyes "what was all that just now, she looks like she saw a ghost, what did you say to her?"

Alois looked up and beamed "oh nothing, I merely showed her that only one of us held real power, and it wasn't her." He shrugged his shoulders and looked over toward the college square "we should head to the party." He looked up at Claude with a smile.

Claude gave a slight smirk "Yes, your highness."

Sebastian watched as his girlfriend got her bearings, she quickly walked back over to him "shall we?" she said, Sebastian simply nodded, 'what an intriguing night this is turning into' Sebastian thought, he wondered what exactly was going on and most of all who was this Ciel?

He held his pride and stood tall, to anyone else he would appear strong but when Sebastian looked into the shimmering blue eyes he saw pain, something Sebastian knew all too well.

 **To Be Continued…**


End file.
